When your answer doesn’t land like you intend

Your colleague asks you:

“I’d like your thoughts on whether we should go with decision A or decision B?”

And you say:

“I don’t care.”

How would they feel?

It might not be how you intended. ☹

‘I don’t care’ was the go-to phrase my client was using.

He’s a high achiever – he’s efficient and productive BUT he sometimes put these qualities above the need for good work relationships. He didn’t see there was a problem.

I shared how it would make me feel: dismissed and like he really didn’t care.

This was not his intention. He just wanted to prevent a ‘pointless’ conversation when A or B would both have been a good solution.

What he thought he was communicating was this:

“I don’t mind, either is fine. I trust your expertise when it comes to making that decision.”

He signed up to my Stakeholder Centred Coaching programme because he wasn’t getting buy in from colleagues, he is ambitious and it’s clear he has massive potential, but he’d reached a ceiling.

To kick off the programme he asked his colleagues for feedback and suggestions on how he could improve, he gave permission for them to tell him what they thought.

Previously, his colleagues had been too scared of his reaction to share how saying ‘I don’t care’ made them feel. This all changed when he was open with them about HOW he wanted to change and WHY.

The result:

They’re now going the extra mile for him and he’s building up credit in the relationship bank account. This is key given his bigger goal of soon becoming a Director in the business.

If you or your leaders are employing a coach, you’re unlikely to get this kind of result if the conversations don’t go beyond the boardroom.

Want to find out what amazing results you could get if you use a Stakeholder Centred Approach?

Contact me and we can have a chat.