Just stop being a coach then. He said to my stroppy little face.


“Just stop being a coach then.”

That’s not what I’d been expecting from Steve. My then partner, now husband, who was himself a coach.

Let me take you back to 2013.

Pharrell Williams’ wretched song Happy was at number 1.

And I was transitioning from being an employed coach to starting my own business following the redundancies of me and my whole team. Cue, I’m not good enough-itis.

I was wallowing in the depths of my imposter syndrome and Steve was trying all sorts of tactics to help me.

This was a typical conversation.

“Look at the results you’ve had with leaders.”

“What if I can’t repeat them?”

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I can’t make my business work and I’ll have to get a job at B & Q.”

“Have you seen how many middle aged, mostly men, there are calling themselves coaches when all they’re doing is churning out the same old advice?”

“That doesn’t mean I’ll make it work.”

I had all the answers.

It was at the end of one of these wallowfests that Steve said the immortal line:

Just stop being a coach then.

It silenced me. And in that silence, I had to think. REALLY think. Being a coach was part of my identity and I loved it.

That night I listed all the ways I could bridge the gap between feeling like an OK coach and being an awesome coach.

The next day I researched ways I could build on my coaching accreditation. That was the start of my journey into more coaching qualifications, group supervision, mentoring and mastery workshops. And it’s never ended.

What Steve did that night was knock the ball back at me so hard that I had to take ownership of my decisions and cut the crap. He stopped rescuing me and it drove me into action.

What’s your approach when members of your team are seemingly stuck?

Do you attempt to relieve someone from the pain of their challenges?

I bet you mean well, but is there a danger you’re robbing them of the responsibility and ownership of THEIR problem?

I have to ask myself this question virtually every time I talk to my teenage daughter 😊

It’s wild when I reflect back on where I was a decade ago, since then I’ve:

– partnered with countless leaders and C Suite execs to transform themselves and their teams

– help change the workplace cultures within anything from a bespoke playground manufacturers to a multi-national corporation.

-and I recorded another episode of my brand new podcast this morning (watch this space for the launch!)

There are so many exciting things going on in my business these days.

It all feels a world away from those anxious days of 2013.

So if you or someone in your team is also suffering from feeling stuck and you need to change the story and the outcome, hit reply and we can schedule a chat!